When work is a priority, not an identity

Welcome to Evidently—the bi-weekly newsletter where a first-time VP of Marketing shares the (sometimes) ugly truth of what it’s like to do this job. If you’re just joining, I’ve talked a lot about reflecting, leading, and running so far. Hop into the archives if any of those verbs speak to you. Today, though, is all about seasons.

Three months in and I'm starting to grasp what day-to-day VP life really means. My life since February has been, how should I say it, unbalanced. As I’ve adjusted I’ve been sitting with the idea I want to talk about today… what happens to the rest of your life when work demands a lot of it.

What my schedule actually looks like

Many days have been a mess. Dinner happens late. Sleep doesn't come early enough. Morning alarm doesn't care about either of those things.

I took on SDRs, hired, and have been thrown into more new career experiences than I can keep track of. Messing something up basically every single day has become a feature of the last three months, rolling with those punches its own process.

Then I got off the waitlist for an ultramarathon the same week I got promoted. So add 10 to 12 hours of training per week on top of all of that, taking care of my dog and normal life responsibilities, and the time gets short quick. 

Here’s the problem with that: My life outside of work is very important to me. Travel, photography, creative projects, books, time with friends. My pursuits outside of work have always been more central to my identity. I’m ambitious in my career, I’ve put a lot of effort into it, but career has never been how I define myself (at least in my mind). 

Work has taken over the past three months. Things I genuinely love have been sitting on a shelf. And I've carried guilt around about that, which is its own kind of tax. I get stuck on the carousel of thinking I can squeeze more into my day, wondering why I don’t, feeling bad about it, and repeating the cycle.

My adjustment in all of this has been in acceptance and the framing of seasons.

Life runs in seasons

Here's the idea that's helped me the most, and one I've believed for a while before I needed to lean on it: life runs in seasons.

A few years ago I worked remotely while living on the road for a year and a half; moving between mountain towns and cities across the western US, staying one to three months at a time. My career was still moving too. But the season was one of balance. Creative projects, mountains, time… I had all of it.

This is not that season.

Being honest with yourself about which season you're in matters more than we give it credit for. You may not be able to choose all of your constraints. Just look at the unexpectedness of my journey here. But understanding what’s in front of you and making a choice about focus, and being okay with that choice, is fully under your control. 

I am in a season of work. Any sense of balance comes from training towards a big goal I care about personally. Most other things in my life feel like they’re in maintenance mode, and for now, that’s ok. 

I'm also a single guy with no family yet, and I'm pretty clear-eyed about what that means. Props to anyone trying to find balance while also juggling kids; I’ve watched my brother and sister-in-law do that while running a business for years now. My time right now is more available than it will ever be again. Taking on something like this now, when the opportunity is in front of me and the circumstances actually allow for it, is the right call. I’ve also been thinking about this for the future: Successful business people run ultras and have families and have full lives outside of work. People do this. I'll figure out a harder version of that balance eventually.

Right now, I'm figuring out this version while trying to be patient with myself through the process. A couple of the most helpful things for me so far in working through this are: therapy (I was working with my therapist before the promotion), 1:1 mentor relationships (invaluable insight and perspective), and the running, of course. 

Works is not my identity

Here's the thing that doesn't move regardless of what season I'm in.

I have never wanted my career to be the whole story of who I am. When I die, if the main thing people say is that I was good at my job or was a great marketer, I have well and truly botched it. The work I do with my team, the difference I might make in people's lives through leadership, all of that that matters to me. But that's separate from wrapping your whole identity around a job title and accomplishments.

I think you can be ambitious and still have a life that's interesting outside of your career. Of course, I have to think this because it's the life I want to live. Am I nailing it right now? Nope. But figuring this stuff out takes time, I’m working on the patience part, and we’re in the early innings. 

So for now, I'm in a sprint. This is not the season I expected to find myself in back in January, but it’s been an incredible one in new and unexpected ways. I’m leaning into that, accepting that, and working on enjoying the ride. 

Do you know what season you’re in? I’d love to hear about it and how it shows up in your everyday.

Talk soon.

—Al

3 things I’m digging this week:

• We launched Proof Recommender this week. Enablement is best served on a silver platter right when the rep needs it. We’re moving in that direction by providing relevant proof based on what’s heard in sales calls.

• Interesting write-up on how competitive campaigns are changing due to AI from Adam Goyette.

• A hilarious, nuanced, and even a bit touching breakdown about waving at other runners you pass by from Semi-Rad.

UserEvidence, who?

UserEvidence makes it easy to earn and keep trust from first touch through expansion.

We turn customer evidence, references, and advocacy into one system that builds credibility with buyers and strengthens relationships with customers.

• Not buried in Slack.

• Not stuck in decks.

• Not dependent on a hero effort from one person.